It's finally come & gone

We single-handedly filled three garbage cans with wrapping paper:
Ah, Christmas has finally come and gone once more. It was a good Christmas. We all thoroughly enjoyed ourselves. S., the Bean, and my BIL spent most of the day racing their new remote control cars, crashing and flipping and spinning. Boys and their toys crack me up.

The Bean had so much fun yesterday, and was so totally exhausted by the time we got home! The kid made out this year. At first I was slightly shocked at all the loot he ended up with. Much of which I bought him. I tell ya, the "buy me" craze got me in the end. But then I took stock: Ya, he got a few large, mechanical, noisy toys (NOT from me, from grandparents), but he also got eight games that we can all play as a family and eight new books, four of which are "classics,"-- Treasure Island, Call of the Wild, Huckleberry Finn, and The Legend of Sleepy Hollow. He got two new DVDs, which would normally kinda bug me, cause I don't want him plopped in front of the TV for hours, but he got "The Muppet Movie!" I absolutely adore that movie! We watched it together before dinner last night and I cried, just like I always do, at "Rainbow Connection."

Why are there so many

songs about rainbows,

and what's on the other side?

Rainbows are visions,

but only illusions,

and rainbows

have nothing to hide...

Why do so many

choose to believe it?

And what do they think

they might see?

Some day we'll find it,

the Rainbow Connection,

the lovers,

the dreamers,

and me....

So anyway, the Bean did well this year, but in the end I feel like he got some stuff I can feel good about. I got two thermal shirts, one for cold weather and one for warm, a set of wireless earphones that hook to the TV so I can watch TV at night and not wake anyone up (cuase I'm almost deaf in one ear), and a household tool kit. I actually have been wanting my own tool kit so badly. And S. is not allowed to TOUCH it. Evah. :) I'm not completely un-handy around the house, and I can often fix small stuff myself-- IF I HAVE TOOLS. S.'s tool box is actually like 5 seperate plastic crates where you have to rummage for half an hour to find a tool, and even then, it might not be functioning. And all his good tools are at the constructions site... So, I can never find what I need to take care of say, a loose door knob, or leaky faucet. But now, I got my own stuff! Watch out baby, cause mommy has a phillips head screw driver and I know how to use it!

My favorite gift though was from my granmother: She put together a photo album for me with pictures she had taken and collected from my birth all the way through the Bean's birth. It's beautiful and made me cry. My grandma has been, um, purging her home of all the things she has collected over her 83 years. She's not really a "keeper" anyway, so the stuff she's getting rid of now is the really good stuff, the really meaningful stuff. A couple years ago she gave me a quilt top that her grandmother (my great-great?) had pieced together from scraps of dresses that my grandma and her 6 sisters wore in the 1920 & 1930's. It a gorgeous double wedding ring design. Last year my mother in law, who is an amazing quilter and artist, helped me choose a backing and then hand quilt the whole thing. It's so beautiful! Every time I look at it, I get lost in my memories of my grandma & great aunts. I can't wait to display it in our new house.

What a long, strange trip it's been:

So, other than a very fulfilling Christmas, it's been a wierd week.

We found out various pieces of news that were definitely beyond the realm of "Oh I saw that coming." Um, more in the realm of "huh?"

The biggest piece of news, that can be revealed here anyway, is that my cousin "came out." I have to say, I was surprised. I had never thought that might be the case. E. is such a wonderful person-- thoughtful and kind, good to others... I'm glad to know that she has found some peace with herself and found someone she cares about. But again, I so didn't see this coming. Apparently others did. They were all like "ya, that makes sense." Me? I just never really considered my cousin's sexuality. I mean, it's not exactly something I concern myself with.

So, I was thinking the other day that I've always wondered what I would think and/or feel if someone in my immediate family was gay, or at least "out". Pretty much I feel exactly the same. I don't care much for her partner, though that has to do with the individual. I've known her for several months and we've had discussion where she's said some really thoughtless, uninformed, racist statements. But y'know, it's not really any different than not liking some guy your sister or friend is dating. But, E. cares about her, and she's happier and more at peace with life than I've seen her in a long time. So what the hell do I know?

Of course I worry about her. I mean, the world is not exactly a friendly place for anyone who doesn't fall into some accepted mainstream category in life. And I worry about our extended family's reaction. I've said before that we've got our fair share of Okie blood and that doesn't always manifest itself in the nicest ways. I particularly worry about the way a few of the family members will treat her. They're not exactly accepting of others. One of my dad's cousins threatened to disown anyone in the family who married an Asian or African American, or Latino. I don't exactly see her being warmhearted and kind when she learns that E. is a lesbian. Of course, it's up to E. whether she wants to have these family members in her life. And whether their thoughts affect her. But I just hate that such a good person will be subjected to any mistreatment by others, especially family.

Other than a few other bumps in the road we didn't see coming, it's been a great holiday season. Heck, even bumps in the raod can lead to good things, right? ;)

I hope that everyone reading this (the vast, unrevealed hordes who secretly weep when I'm not blogging) have had a wonderful holiday as well. May you find love and peace and good times in 2006!

How the Liberals Stole Christmas

So, my little rant about Christmas generated lots of commentary (though not necessarily here on the blog). Poppy sent me this article from a St. Louis paper. I think it’s pretty on the mark. And pretty clever to boot. Enjoy:

The Liberals Stole Christmas

ANd I thought going back to work was a good idea why?

Coffee & good music. That’s all you need to rapidly improve a crappy morning.

I so hate getting up before the sun. I mean, it’s just not right. Didn’t millions of years of evolution condition us to wake when the world finally sees the light of the sun? 5:45 AM is not a human hour. Coyotes? Mountain Lions? Sure, they hunt before dawn. Me? Not so much. And my 5 year old? Are you friggen kidding me? Not gonna happen. No, I don’t actually wake him up at 5:45 AM. I get up that early so that I can get myself ready for work and still have enough time to coax an indolent sloth from bed. Not to mention dressing and feeding the beast.

See, his bus picks him up at 7:00 AM—a full hour before school starts. And I have to get him on the bus; otherwise I have to wait until 7:40 to take him to school because there is no supervision at school before then. My commute to work is between 50 minutes and an hour, so if I don’t leave the house until 7:40, I’m not getting to work before 9:00 AM, which makes for a really long day.

So, on mornings when I have to work and he has school, I’m up before dawn. And I really don’t like it. I try to let him sleep till about 6:15, but he is so slow, that if it’s a fraction of a second later than that, we run out of time and miss the bus. Seriously, have you ever tried to pour molasses from a jar on a January morning? Well, that’s him.

So, after much prodding, and arguing this morning, I finally got him dressed, fed, and on the bus. And I was exhausted. I felt like I’d put in several hours with an ornery and difficult customer or something.

So what saved the day from spiraling into grumpville? What kept that gray cloud hovering above me at bay?

Coffee and Good Music. And it was good coffee too. Hot and strong. And the music was loud. Looks like the day might just be OK after all.

Good Lord, think before you send out that mass e-mail!

So. Yesterday someone at the Bureau of Land Management’s California State Office sent out a mass e-mail to all state BLM employees with the following subject line:

“Interest in Cum Effects Class”

Um, hello, did this person’s brain temporarily take a hiatus? What in the name of all that is good was he thinking? Come on people, PROOF READ those e-mails before you broadcast them!

The message was an inquiry about employee interest in a training class on cumulative effects and environmental analysis. But damn, I was afraid to open it for fear my office firewall would set off some porn censor!

Looks like somebody is gonna be sent to Sensitivity Training...

So, it's Christmas time

What does it mean? What is Christmas these days? I know there are lots of people who individually recognize the Christ in Christmas. And there are lots of organizations that trumpet the call for bringing back the religiosity of the holiday. But it seems like so many of those same groups (be they churches, individuals with an outlet, or social groups of some sort) march right on along with the merry crowd of holiday zombies blinded by the lights of consumer acqusitions and only remember the Christ part when it fits in their platform. Don't get me wrong: I'm not so cynical that I think churches in general are like that. Or individuals who speak out, or social groups. But there are enough that it makes me wonder on what level American really care about Christmas.

I've heard parents get their feathers ruffled because the schools talk about the "holidays" rather than Christmas. They pay lip service to "other" religions by saying that it's ok to teach the kids what other religions do in celebration of special holidays, but the minute some teacher tries to demonstrate a Hannukah ritual, the intolerance alarm rings. And just try to mention Kwanza as anything other than an antiquated cultural tradition among Africans, and people roll their eyes so violently I want to run around behind them and catch the slippery little optical orbs as they tumble out the hole in their head where respect and acceptance of differences used to be. They say "We're a predominantly Christian Nation, so others should accept Christ and Christmas in schools. If it offends them that bad, go somewhere where they aren't Christians. This is the beginning of the end of Christmas." Maybe they blame Jews, the African-Americans who observe traditional African religions, Buddhists, Hindus, Sikhs, Pagans, atheists, liberals, humanists ... everyone except the TRUE culprits:

CORPORATISM and CONSUMERISM.

If you really want to "save Christmas" then save it from the likes of Wal-Mart, Target, Macy's, Saks, Radio Shack, Best Buy, and lord knows just about every other retail outlet stuffed to the gills with all the crap that we absolutely MUST HAVE. Because buying their stuff is the true spirit of Christmas, right?

Again, I'm not a total scrooge. I'm not out here advocating we all give up our gift giving and spend a gray and sad Christmas morning staring at our little nativity scenes with only our collective cultural memory of a virgin in a manger.

Gift giving is fun. Trees are beautiful and they smell good. Lights remind us that in this darkest time of year, there is always the light of love, or friendship, of family, of God. Celebrations bring us together in community...

Heck, my kid is getting stuff. He only asked Santa for ONE thing this year: a toy bulldozer to dig in the dirt on our lot. He told Santa that was all he wanted and that he would have so much fun playing with it, he wouldn't need anything else. Clearly, he's a kid and he'll tire of it and move on to other toys. But, so far in his brief experiences with Christmas, he hasn't yet been injected with that crazed longing for everything he sees. He'll get that bulldozer, and some books and a couple games we can play as a family. And whatever the grandparents get him as well.

I guess my point in all this is just that I've heard so much lately about all the various forces that are bringing forth the impending death of Christmas, but no one ever talks about what really mars the season. It's not calling it a generic term like "holidays". We have the religious freedom to put as much or as little Jesus as we want in our own holiday observations. That my child's school calls it "holidays" rather than "Christmas" does not determine how I see Christmas or how I honor it. In fact, my kid actually goes to a school that still calls it Christmas. I doubt that a Jewish family sees Hanukkah any differently because the school does not call the winter break "Hanukkah Break". But you can be pretty certain that if the school did call it that, most of us Christians would be pretty perturbed that the school was recognizing some "other" religion than ours.

There is so much that sucks in the world right now. There is so much that is tearing people and communities apart. Do people really have to demand that their religion be the defining pillar of what is or is not tradition in this country? I respect that most of our traditions hail from the Christian faith, as we have been populated largely by Chirstians. But, we are not populated solely by Christians. And we set out as a nation to be the first on earth not to identify ourselves, at least in the public, civil sense, with a religious ideal. The idea that by disassociating the "public" observation of Christmas from Christ, "we" are therefore erasing it's meaning in some moral or ethical sense is as far removed from truth as the idea that a brand new X-BOX or diamond earrings somehow embody the spirit of Christ.

The meaning of Christmas is more than just remembering the birth of a baby, even if that baby was the most influential and misunderstood being ever born. It is, or rather, it should be, about His legacy and His teachings. And those are far more than what can be expressed simply in the word Christmas.

Holidays. It’s “holy days”. Make these days—these days of cold darkness, of separation, or hunger, of disease, of sadness, of regret—make them holy by honoring what God has taught. He is more than the name of this day. Christ is the embodiment of justice, of righteousness. If we believe in Him, then follow Him and do the work of fighting for justice & peace, fight to feed people who are hungry and put and end to poverty and heal disease. Squabbling over the name that governments and institutions give these holy days is fruitless. Substituting gratuitous gifting for true service to others will bring the death of Christmas more quickly than any non-believer could.

moments like these...

Moments like these make me love my kid even more than I thought I possibly could. Just a few minutes ago, I was sitting here on line, paying some bills. He was playing with the Magna Doodle and drawing pictures of trees.

I scarcely noticed that it had gotten quiet (his endless chatter had subsided monentarily) when I heard a soft melody drifting up from somewhere behind me. I looked back, and he was reclined on some pillows, knees bent with one leg crossed over the other, playing his harmonica slowly, ever so softly. Gazing at the ceiling, he was lost in his music and his own thoughts. Perfection.

Where do you want to go today?

So goes the pithy little Microsoft slogan.

But I’ve been thinking about going a lot lately. Most of my adult life I’ve been a wanderer, but in the past couple years it seems that I, or we, have been pretty tied to this place. This place being California in general.

And lately, I’ve been itching to wander again. We’ve traveled a fair amount, though nothing in realm of true vagabonds. We’ve moved a fair amount too. I think that has contributed a lot to my wander-lust.

In the next year or so, after we finish building the house, we’re planning on going to Denmark and to Peru. Sorta schizophrenic travel agenda, eh?

My dear “sister,” D., in Copenhagen will be getting married and having a baby. Though, I think the baby part will come before the wedding. The baby’s father, and her future husband, is Cuban and is in Cuba right now, while she is pregnant and lonely back home in Copenhagen. It’s quite a love story really, one of those things you might expect out of a Hemingway novel or something.

D. was a graduate student doing an internship in Cuba, where she fell in love with the island country and with Eric. I’ve only seen one photo of them together, but he’s beautiful! And she is, as always, stunning. And their smiles. Sometimes you can just tell from a smile how true something is.

I mean imagine if you will a gorgeous Dane: tall, slim, blonde, blue-eyed Nordic beauty. And him: a tall, dark handsome Cuban. Their kid is going to be a looker for sure.

And if the baby (a boy) takes at all after his mother, he’ll be smart and sweet and kind and funny. I don’t know his daddy yet, but my sister loves him, so he must be pretty cool.

And what a mix of cultures! So very opposite, yet so well complimented.

The biggest problem is that she’s in Denmark- the hardest European county to emigrate to. And he is in Cuba, one of the most difficult countries to immigrate from. The process they are going through right now just to be together is mind boggling. It makes me realize just how much I take S. for granted. I bitch and complain that he has to travel for work, but really he’s only two hours away. I can’t imagine being an ocean away from my husband. Or my son’s father.

Eric has obtained a visa for a three month visit to Denmark. They hope to get married while he’s there. He’ll have to go back to Cuba, at which time he and D. can apply for “family reunification” so he can move to Denmark permanently. The plans all sound good, but I know it's terribly nerve wracking for them both.

After all this is settled for them, and it will likely be a while, they will have a big, traditional Danish wedding celebration. And my dad will give D. away.

See, when D. lived with us when she was 17, her real dad died of brain cancer. So, in a very profound way, my parents are D.’s parents as well. We were not just the American family she lived with, but her support and comfort and love at a time when she was completely vulnerable.

When D. came back to California in 2001 for my sister M.’s wedding, she asked my dad to give her away at her wedding if she ever got married. Of course, he would! A few months ago, D. wrote my parents a letter and asked again if they would come, and if Dad would walk her down the aisle. My sister is going to be a mom and a wife soon. I miss so much of her life, and I miss her so much. No way in hell am I going to miss her wedding celebration.

So, that’s why we’ll be going to Denmark. And I can’t friggen wait!

Now, Peru. Well, my inlaws have traveled to Peru twice now for a trip that is combination service/cultural education/vacation. We were supposed to go with them last August, but between building the house and our own trip to Washington D.C., we just couldn't make the time or money available. (Ya, I know, poor us, we just had to go to DC. I'm so glad we got that trip or this travel bug would be unbearable!)

So, hopefully next year we will be able to make the trip. S. is dying to hike the Inca Trail to Machu Pichu. I'd like to see the jungle too. I've seen the Costa Rican jungle, but I'd be so stoked to see the Amazonian jungles as well!

So. This travel bug has really got me again. It's been a while since I wanted to travel this badly! If we're going to Denmark, we're certainly going to do some additional travel. We've been to Europe once, and I loved the places we visited (England, France, Switzerland, Austria, Belgium, and I lived in Germany for three months one time). Next time, I think it's time to try some places we've never been. In addition to Denmark:

• Italy
• Greece
• Turkey
• Portugal
• Spain

So, where else should we go? Where have you been that you LOVED?